Mrs. Griz    

 
 
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By Jonah

The stepping stones that start at the odd octagon building to the end of modular B are not strait at all, but they are very square.  They where a reddish-brown color originally but now they are a whitish-red color, or simply pale red.  From the end of modular B to the beginning octagon building total there are about 45 stepping stones.  One of them is darker red in color.  You can tell that the stone has been replace because it is darker than the red.  You can also tell this because on the ground next to it there are little rocks and some red dust.  On top of these little faded squares there is a small spot of white, because the sun faded their heads.  The yard around the pathway is very high, and some stones even have grass growing on them.  Last but not least, on of the little stairs is really a pot hole.  Look out!
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Timothy
9/16/2010 06:42:09 am

I enjoyed reading this paper because you were really clear and descriptive. This is a really good improvement to the journal entry that I heard in class. The thing that drew me in was the fact that you discovered that bricks had been moved just by observing a scene, for instance, you recognized that one of the bricks was not as faded in colour as the others and therefore it had been replaced. You also realized that there was dust from where the previous brick had been removed this was very observant and it was intiresting to read that. The surprise ending was a fun and good way to end your paragraph.

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Jacob
9/16/2010 09:19:22 am

Good job, I really liked it. ^_^

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Abbey
9/17/2010 12:45:52 am

Very Nice! I liked how you were descriptive. I think that this paper really talked about the history of the stepping stones!

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William
9/17/2010 01:18:07 am

Jonah lookin' good wit tha zebra jacket on! It was the best part of the whole thing. The paper was good too though LIU! Good insight about how you could tell which ones were older.

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Anna
9/17/2010 02:34:07 am

I can tell you really studied them! Great description!

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Katherine
9/18/2010 04:46:54 am

Good descriptions and very analytical observations. That was good. (:

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Jacob
9/19/2010 11:33:36 am

GREAT discriptions! Very nice!

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Mrs. Griz
9/19/2010 01:14:29 pm

Jonah,
Your piece flows really well, I am impressed by it's logical organization. I love how one descriptive sentence flows into the next. I also love that you use pure description...you don't try to attribute any meaning or purpose to the piece. This is very effective, because it has a "what you see is what you get" tone to it. I love it! :)

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Tessa
9/21/2010 05:19:31 am

I really like how you described the observations. very interesting subject. and great organiztion. Oh and I really liked the way you "cropped" it.

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Micah Lee
9/21/2010 11:56:25 pm

I really like how you took time to study those stepping stones. I mean I walked across thos things at least a hundred time and never took time to notice any of that. great job I think those stepping stones were grateful :)

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