Mrs. Griz    

 
 
Picture
By Anna

The tree is sitting on top of a little mound of mulch, and the leaves are blowing in the slight breeze.  It is a small tree, probably only a few years old. The large leaves are still green and are very wide, almost circular except for a pointed tip. The tree’s bark is smooth and painted different shades of gray. Most of its branches spread out, not up, and it is only a little bit taller than I am. The tree’s shadow hits the sidewalk and splatters onto the other side. A few of the leaves are scattered under it, and some are lying across the lawn. One of the branches stretches up to meet the pure blue sky, and the light filters through the leaves to make them glow a dull green.
Picture
Timothy
9/16/2010 06:28:21 am

I really enjoyed reading this paper because of its descriptive adjectives, and it did not seem like you were trying to force them in whenever you could. The words you used to describe the tree painted a clear picture and this made the paper really clean and smooth sounding.

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Jacob
9/16/2010 09:16:00 am

Nice job! It really painted a picture in my mind, i could almost see it perfectly ya know? All in all, I realy liked it. Grats

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Abbey
9/17/2010 12:40:37 am

I liked it alot! It was very descriptive, you made the little tree sound cute! :) hehe

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william
9/17/2010 01:10:47 am

It sure wasn't terrible haha. Once again, good description. I love the phrase "pure blue sky"... just sounds good.

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joe
9/17/2010 05:00:53 am

I like little trees too, GOOD JOB

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Katherine
9/18/2010 04:40:02 am

Very vivid and colorful description! I can see the tree perfectly through your words. Great job! (:

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Jacob
9/19/2010 11:41:07 am

Very good and effective writing! It had a very engaging voice as well.

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Mrs. Griz
9/19/2010 01:11:23 pm

Anna,
This is extremely descriptive! You use many great adjectives to paint with words. My favorite line is, "The tree’s shadow hits the sidewalk and splatters onto the other side." I love that you used "splatters" so creative! Very nice job! :)

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Tessa
9/21/2010 05:23:22 am

Great word choice and descirtions! I think you did a wonderful job on taking something as ordinry as a tree and making it sound so beautiful, and so UNordinary!

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Micah lee
9/21/2010 11:54:28 pm

I love the way you talked about the shadow and how it splattered against the concrete. great description!

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